Who’s Normal Anyway?

We’ve been using Elimination Communication (EC) with L since he was about a month old. EC is about looking out for your baby’s signals that they need to wee or poo and working with them to help them go somewhere other than in their nappy. The focus for us is on the communication and treating L respectfully and helping him to be comfortable. I thought it would be interesting to look back on our ECing journey and see where we are at now L is 9 months old so I’m recording what’s happened today.

6.40am We’d been awake maybe 10-20 mins and L had been having his wake up breastfeed. When he slowed down and his sucking changed from regular glugging down to a shallower, more irregular suck I said, “I think it’s time for the potty” and took off his PJ bottoms and his nappy (we use disposables at night so he stays feeling dry - he isn’t always keen to be pottied at night). I sat him on the potty between my knees with the potty slightly tipped back. I find it helps prevent overshoot and I also hold a muslin over the front of the potty because L likes to pull his penis all over the place as he starts to wee! He pooed and weed and then wriggled to get off the potty. I put a disposable on him again because I know I tune out first thing in the morning and miss the first couple of wees.

We then chatted with M as he’d just woken up and after 20 mins we went downstairs to get breakfast. L pottered about playing and I did usual morning things of breakfast, getting dressed, computer time and so on.

8.15am I offered L the potty before we went out to Church. He didn’t want a wee so I just put him in a Swaddlebees cloth nappy and walked to Church with him in my sling. We got to Church with a couple of mins to spare but I decided not to take L for a wee because I’d only recently offered. He was OK during the service and not too fussy. I was juggling baby, candle and service sheet and it was a busy service. He didn’t fuss for a wee so I didn’t take him. He did have a few short feeds during Church but every time he latched on he’d get disturbed by having to go up to the front for communion or to shake hands for the peace or whatever, so not a very peaceful breastfeed!

9.15am At the end of the service I took L straight to the toilet where they have a baby changing area, took his nappy off and it was still dry. I held him over the toilet and cued him with our shwshw noise and he quickly had a wee. I didn’t bother putting his trousers back on becasue he was wearing his baby legs. Then we went through to join everyone else for breakfast. I met someone I hadn’t chatted to before and she offered to hold L while I ate but he wriggled to get down. He roamed about getting underfoot and just playing - he likes to follow a baby who is 4 months older around. I paid little attention other than checking he was still in the room.

9.45am L appeared behind my chair and made fussy noises at me, so I took him to the toilet again. His nappy was still dry and he had another wee. Then we went back to chat and A and M joined us.

10.20am Took L for another wee before the family service started.

10.50am Came out of the service to see if L’s fussing was because he wanted the loo again but he didn’t want to have a wee when I held him in position. Maybe he was just getting fussy with tiredness or maybe he couldn’t relax to wee. When the service ended we went for another coffee and A watched L while I chatted so I wasn’t paying attention. He came to me for a breastfeed and fell asleep about 11.45am.

When we got home I forgot to offer the potty (oops!) and we got on with lunch.

12.30pm L got louder and thrashier while he was in his highchair so I got him down and put him on the potty. His nappy was wet and he also had a wee. I fastened a prefold around him with a Nappi Nippa for while we were in the house.

2.20pm I offered the potty again because we were going out in the car. L was fussing so I breastfed him for a few minutes which helped him to relax. He sat a minute or so on the potty and then did a poo. He started to wee but didn’t let it go and struggled to get off the potty. I didn’t want to fight him about having a wee so put a Fuzzibunz nappy on him and we got into the car. He napped during the journey.

3pm We arrived in the car park for the geocache we were going to do. L was asleep so I put him in the carrier and he woke briefly and then went straight back off to sleep.

4pm Got back to the car after finding the cache and woke L to potty and feed him. His nappy was wet so either he weed when we first set off in the car, or when he briefly woke as I put him in the carrier. He had a wee out of the car door onto the car park dirt (in a forest) and then had a breastfeed.

4.30pm L was starting to make some fussing noises but there was nowhere to pull over in the car, then he seemed to calm down so we just carried on.

4.50pm L was getting loud again so we found a layby and stopped. He had a wet nappy but didn’t want to wee on the potty on my knee in the front seat.

5.20pm We arrived home and L had a wee on the potty once we got into the house. I put him back into a prefold. I offered him another wee before tea but he wasn’t interested.

7pm After tea I started writing this blog and L played on the floor. I became aware that he was trying to get my attention and was a bit fussy and found he was wet. Offered the potty but he wasn’t interested. I took him bare bummed upstairs to get ready for bed and into a disposable and PJs.

7.45pm L was feeding while I read M his bedtime story. He began faffing about and not concentrating on breastfeeding so I took him to sit on his potty in our bedroom and he had a wee.

8.15pm Fussing and faffing while breastfeeding again so I offered the potty. I sing to him to help him relax sometimes, but he sat happily for a couple of mins and didn’t wee so I assumed I’d misread his behaviour.

8.30pm L settled down on my lap to breastfeed to sleep.

And that’s where we’ve got to today. Some days we go all day and “catch” practically nothing. At home L roams around doing his own thing and I easily forget to be aware. He usually comes to tell me when he is wet though (if he is wearing cloth) so he’s keeping awareness. When we are out and I’m carrying L it is much easier to tune in with him.

I think once babies are mobile ECing changes quite alot. Soem days L seems to be on a complete “potty pause” but I know he is learning and changing all the time. I’ve found Charndra’s EC pages really helpful in getting tips for ECing an older baby.