Who’s Normal Anyway?

M had a 2 hour rollerblading activity this morning to go to as part of the local school holiday playscheme. There hasn’t been a local playscheme before so everything was a little bit up in the air and I waited with him until the coach finally turned up and they’d got boots on and started, then L and I walked home via the shop to get some things for lunch (and some chocolate but perhaps we’ll gloss over that). I then had a good hour before I needed to go back and collect him and it reminded me of when M was in nursery for a year and I used to get allsorts done in the 2.5 hours, it was my time to get some stuff finished or just read uninterrupted. Today I sorted out some website stuff for the ABM that is well behind and got L off to sleep for his nap. A phoned to say he’d come home for lunch and collect M too, so I didn’t need to get L back up to go out of the house.

The afternoon didn’t go quite so smoothly. First of all M was disappointed because he’d signed up for a rugby session for this afternoon (though he would’ve been too tired in hindsight) that was cancelled. Instead I said we’d go to the library and the supermarket, so I asked M to find his Reading Mission card to fill in with the books he’s finished. We hunted for it downstairs for a while and then went into his bedroom to look for it. M stopped looking to read Asterix and L grabbed a page and started crumpling/tearing it and M went mad with him. So I told him off and then he was in tears saying he wasn’t really trying to kill L. Anyway, we recovered it eventually and M showed L his Action Man things while I sorted Lego back into its storage boxes. In the end we came back downstairs and I finally spotted his card on the computer desk.

We drove to the library and L fell asleep in the car. I realised when we got to the car park that I’d forgotten my purse, but figured the staff would probably issue M new books on the basis of ones he returned. So I got slinged up and L out of the car, which woke him, and we walked to the library only to find it was half day closing. So back we went to the car and drove home again.

I did some vacuuming and tidied L’s toys, swapping the boxes over so he has different toys out. M mooned about and finally sat down to watch a Kim Possible DVD from Amazon rentals (when we got rid of lots of Sky channels including the kids ones we subbed him to the cheapest Amazon rental deal instead). L practised his toddling and burst into floods of tears when I wouldn’t let him play with my knitting needles (with knitting on) or touch the rings on the cooker or dibble his fingers in my coffee. It’s a hard and frustrating life being a new toddler LOL. He demonstrated his washer opening and emptying abilities (didn’t realise he could work the catch now) .

When A came home we had tuna pasta bake and A took himself off to bed because he’s full of cold and aching with man flu. Can’t remember what the rest of us did but then it was bathtime and bedtime. L was very tired and rubbing his eyes but not ready to settle down. We had uproar when he snuggled against M’s legs and then bit him in the bottom! M tried to shake him off but he clung on (like a lion according to M). I put him on the floor and cuddled M and when I picked L back up he tried to do it again! He finally settled down to feed to sleep though. I read M more of The Thieves of Ostia but haven’t caught up to where M has read for himself, so he kept telling me what was going to happen next. And now both boys are asleep and I’m having some peace and blogging.

I think our biggest ECing changes in the past fortnight are that L has learned to sign toilet and I’ve been trying to switch to him wearing training pants during the day. L is 12 months and 2 weeks old and is just taking his first steps, toddling part way across a room now before he falls over. He is also getting into climbing, so he has a lot going on all at once.

We’ve been using the BSL sign for toilet for 6 months or so and in the last few weeks L has become able to make the sign. Now he is learning to use it to tell us when he needs to go. Whenever he signs toilet we take him to see if he needs a wee - it’s a two way thing of us all figuring out what the sign means. This week he is signing toilet on average a couple of times a day and usually doing a wee when we take him after he signs. So I’m really pleased the signing is paying off!

When L doesn’t sign I still offer him a wee if it seems like it’s been a while since he last went or if he is getting loud and / or jiggly. Sometimes I get it right and sometimes I don’t. And sometimes I was right but he didn’t want to go where I offered LOL. I am trying to keep flexible and figure out what he is thinking.

For instance yesterday we were in the bedroom and L was playing on the bed with A while I was doing something else. A said he’d signed toilet so I came in to take him, but by then he’d begun a game of peekaboo with a blanket and didn’t like me interrupting his game. He protested being taken to the toilet so much! So we had a cuddle for a minute or two and then I offered the washbasin instead but he just wanted to play with the soap. I sat him down and he paused, looked at me and weed. It’s all on his terms. He certainly has control of his bladder!

He doesn’t always like to wee even when he needs to go, he will want to play with whatever is to hand. On the toilet on his toddler seat he loves to sit and play with the toilet roll and thinks it is hilarious to pull bits off and put them in his mouth, then look at me provocatively and giggle. I pull a yuck face and remove the paper and it’s a little game. He doesn’t necessarily get on with weeing there though. When I want to hurry him along a bit I hold him in the basic under thigh hold over the washbasin and generally then he’ll go if he needs to. If we’re downstairs offering to wee him over the flower border is a novelty he enjoys! I tell him he’s watering the plants for us LOL.

A couple of times I’ve sat him in the bath while I was getting ready to shower when it seemed he needed to wee but he was holding it. I think sometimes he wants to wee where he wants to wee so that he can splash in it afterwards. I don’t mind in the bath, it’s easily showered off and wee is sterile. I’d prefer him not to decline a wee on the potty then climb off, sit on the carpet and fiddle with his willy, look at me and then wee though. Must be something about making a puddle you can splash in. At least wee is easily mopped up. Recently he’s been wanting to look at what’s in the potty and he loves to stand by the toilet peering into the bowl as it flushes. I guess they all go through these stages of toilet learning.

At the moment with pooing he seems to find it easier if I hold him under his thighs so he’s in a deeper squat than just sitting on the potty. He’s possibly a little bit dehydrated in the heat and finding it harder to poo.

I decided that with the number of misses we’re having in the hot weather I could really go to putting him in training pants now. Certainly when we are out we can go most of the day with no misses (something about the in and out of the car and carrying him that makes staying in tune easier) and training pants are also cooler and smaller to carry spares. I think it’s getting my mind into thinking we can do it OK that is the hard part. L tries to tell us when he needs to go and I thought it was about time I trusted him better. Partly it was reading the latest Infant Pottying Today and thinking "stop being a wuss and just try it" - the DiaperFreeChallenge thing inspired me to go for the next step. Really, training pants aren’t that different to a nappy, they hold a wee for a little bit OK but just aren’t waterproof.

So that’s where we’re at at the moment. We keep on gradually learning and I keep having to remember that L is adjusting all the time. He can hold it much longer now and I need to alter how often I offer him a wee so he doesn’t get annoyed with being taken when he’s not ready to go yet. Now he can hold it it makes it a little bit easier to find potty places when we’re out. I need to take into account that he doesn’t like to be interrupted from playing to go on the potty. When I get it right he has a wee fine and settles down again quickly afterwards. It’s fascinating seeing the process of toilet learning unfold, and he’s keeping comfortable as we go along too.