Who’s Normal Anyway?

I think our biggest ECing changes in the past fortnight are that L has learned to sign toilet and I’ve been trying to switch to him wearing training pants during the day. L is 12 months and 2 weeks old and is just taking his first steps, toddling part way across a room now before he falls over. He is also getting into climbing, so he has a lot going on all at once.

We’ve been using the BSL sign for toilet for 6 months or so and in the last few weeks L has become able to make the sign. Now he is learning to use it to tell us when he needs to go. Whenever he signs toilet we take him to see if he needs a wee - it’s a two way thing of us all figuring out what the sign means. This week he is signing toilet on average a couple of times a day and usually doing a wee when we take him after he signs. So I’m really pleased the signing is paying off!

When L doesn’t sign I still offer him a wee if it seems like it’s been a while since he last went or if he is getting loud and / or jiggly. Sometimes I get it right and sometimes I don’t. And sometimes I was right but he didn’t want to go where I offered LOL. I am trying to keep flexible and figure out what he is thinking.

For instance yesterday we were in the bedroom and L was playing on the bed with A while I was doing something else. A said he’d signed toilet so I came in to take him, but by then he’d begun a game of peekaboo with a blanket and didn’t like me interrupting his game. He protested being taken to the toilet so much! So we had a cuddle for a minute or two and then I offered the washbasin instead but he just wanted to play with the soap. I sat him down and he paused, looked at me and weed. It’s all on his terms. He certainly has control of his bladder!

He doesn’t always like to wee even when he needs to go, he will want to play with whatever is to hand. On the toilet on his toddler seat he loves to sit and play with the toilet roll and thinks it is hilarious to pull bits off and put them in his mouth, then look at me provocatively and giggle. I pull a yuck face and remove the paper and it’s a little game. He doesn’t necessarily get on with weeing there though. When I want to hurry him along a bit I hold him in the basic under thigh hold over the washbasin and generally then he’ll go if he needs to. If we’re downstairs offering to wee him over the flower border is a novelty he enjoys! I tell him he’s watering the plants for us LOL.

A couple of times I’ve sat him in the bath while I was getting ready to shower when it seemed he needed to wee but he was holding it. I think sometimes he wants to wee where he wants to wee so that he can splash in it afterwards. I don’t mind in the bath, it’s easily showered off and wee is sterile. I’d prefer him not to decline a wee on the potty then climb off, sit on the carpet and fiddle with his willy, look at me and then wee though. Must be something about making a puddle you can splash in. At least wee is easily mopped up. Recently he’s been wanting to look at what’s in the potty and he loves to stand by the toilet peering into the bowl as it flushes. I guess they all go through these stages of toilet learning.

At the moment with pooing he seems to find it easier if I hold him under his thighs so he’s in a deeper squat than just sitting on the potty. He’s possibly a little bit dehydrated in the heat and finding it harder to poo.

I decided that with the number of misses we’re having in the hot weather I could really go to putting him in training pants now. Certainly when we are out we can go most of the day with no misses (something about the in and out of the car and carrying him that makes staying in tune easier) and training pants are also cooler and smaller to carry spares. I think it’s getting my mind into thinking we can do it OK that is the hard part. L tries to tell us when he needs to go and I thought it was about time I trusted him better. Partly it was reading the latest Infant Pottying Today and thinking "stop being a wuss and just try it" - the DiaperFreeChallenge thing inspired me to go for the next step. Really, training pants aren’t that different to a nappy, they hold a wee for a little bit OK but just aren’t waterproof.

So that’s where we’re at at the moment. We keep on gradually learning and I keep having to remember that L is adjusting all the time. He can hold it much longer now and I need to alter how often I offer him a wee so he doesn’t get annoyed with being taken when he’s not ready to go yet. Now he can hold it it makes it a little bit easier to find potty places when we’re out. I need to take into account that he doesn’t like to be interrupted from playing to go on the potty. When I get it right he has a wee fine and settles down again quickly afterwards. It’s fascinating seeing the process of toilet learning unfold, and he’s keeping comfortable as we go along too.