Who’s Normal Anyway?

We didn’t get anything much done on Thursday morning. M was tired from 3 late nights in a row and feeling tearful. I was planning on sewing badges onto A’s and M’s camp blankets as they were pinned on but not stitched, so M wanted to look at those and my old Guider one. But he got upset about whether he would ever be a Sixer at Cubs and would he ever be a Scout and would he ever be a Scouter like Daddy and got quite worked up about it all and about Daddy having more badges on his.

After lunch we drove off to the leisure centre for the new group. We arrived when it was due to start but as all home ed events, no one was there. Shortly we did meet one family and said hello. There was a large hall for racing about in and some girls were on rollerskates so M thought he might take his along another time. Then off the side of the hall was a smaller hall with some large soft play pieces and then a small wooden climbing frame. The soft play stuff was mainly used for jumping on and for climbing up to throw yourself at a long triangle shape stood high on end so that it fell over with a huge “whop” with the child on top of it and hopefully no small child (or larger one for that matter!) beneath it! This room was where the teenage boys hung out and all the other parents mainly stayed away. I stayed in there to keep an eye on L who couldn’t be expected to be wary (yet at least) of the falling soft play stuff! He had a go on the wooden climbing frame.

M ran about with his friend S and seemed to be having fun but then my attention was finally drawn to the fact he was about to have a punch up with some of the other boys! He and S were building with 2 soft play pieces and some of the regular boys decided they wanted all of it to build a big pile to sit in in one corner and took the pieces M and S had. M says he tried to tell me before but I hadn’t really taken in what he was telling me and was paying more attention to what L was up to. But whatever, glowering at someone and trying to snatch back the piece and fighting over it is not a good way to act and I told him to come away. His friend had just walked away and not got mad. So M was angry at the boys and angry at me and I was very embarrassed he could get into a big row on our first visit to a strange group. Although in hindsight its not fair or logical, I felt like why couldn’t he just back down and keep out of the way as he was the new person. Really he needed me to intervene somehow much earlier, before things got so far.

The parent we met when we first arrived came over and said boys will be boys (along those lines anyway) and the other parents just left them to it and wanted them to sort it out themselves - wasn’t sure if that was supposed to be reassuring that it was fine for him to fight or warning me off interfering.

I noticed there were no other under 5s so parents didn’t need to be helping small children and of the boys, M must have been one of the youngest. He might look like he’s 10 or 11 but he is only 8 and of course he still needs guidance and help in resolving things, but I don’t think I helped at all.

Apart from the first person we met when we arrived and the parents of S and also the person collecting the money, no one else said a word to us. I do find these Norfolk things very hard. People are quite standoffish and speak to their little clique, even when you’ve been going to things for ages. I can’t sit and try and join in with the other parents all sat along the edge of the big hall and leave L to the mercies of the big kids with the whopping soft play pieces! So I potter with him, can’t see very well how things are going with M and it’s hard.

The second hour was swimming and both M and L love being in the water. M can swim well enough to swim about and I do my best to keep an eye on where he is, though that is hard while keeping watch on what L is up to - he moves so fast! So I followed L and M swam with S for a while and got upset about getting stuck in the rapids. I tried to take him round but he ended up pulling me out of my depth so I had to swim, very hampered by carrying L at the same time, so I shan’t be trying that again. Then M got upset about me saying we needed to go home soon to get tea because I was going out, while other people were going to stay for chips. I felt like there was just no pleasing him!

We stayed long enough for a quick drink and a packet of crisps and a chat with S’s family and then drove home. By then it was rush hour and the traffic home was bad so we got back later than I’d hoped. I rushed about getting tea. A was out at a camp planning meeting til about 20 mins before I needed to go out. He came in and asked about our day and I ended up having a blazing row about it all with the whole frustration of everything. I got a pounding headache and didn’t go out, and I really upset M. So terrible day really.

If M wants to go to that group again then I suppose we will, but I feel very “take it or leave it” with the home ed scene at the moment. If we do go back I’ll suggest taking his roller blades and work out in advance with him what we are going to do such as staying for chips and going in the rapids. I’m not sure what we got out of it overall. L liked trying out the climbing frame I suppose and M got to see his friend S and both L and M got to swim which is rare lately. It’s not really likely to enhance our social circle because of where people travel from and the whole cliquey thing and we can go swimming other times so we’ll see. There may be more home ed boys and boys closer to M’s age in Norfolk and there are more organised activities, but overall I think I much preferred being in Yorkshire.